I survived my taper.
Ok, so I shortened my planned taper to 2 weeks instead of 5, and… ok, I may have written an outtake during that time (if my defense, I’m not planning on including it in the book; it was just my way of keeping connected to the world). And fine, I did some prep work these last few days.
That’s allowed, right?
I don’t do cold turkey well, guys. But I did stick to my plan of not reading the first draft during this cooling off period, and as I put together my beat sheet to plan the second draft, I did stick to the very high level look at the overall structure, pacing, and tone. I also took a hard look at how things progressed and saw that there were definitely changes that needed to be made in terms of rearranging some scenes, adding new ones, removing others.
There were some pretty major changes I identified, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little terrified. Making these changes will no doubt impact everything that comes after them (and probably what comes before them, too), so I know I’m looking at a ton of work ahead.
I’m eager to jump in, since I’ve missed this world and its people so much, but I’m also really anxious. I didn’t do a thorough revision of my first novel, so this will be an entirely new experience for me. And while I know the work involved will be worth it, there’s that tiny voice inside me that keeps whispering, “What if you don’t have what it takes to transform this first draft from a rough, raw pile of words to a focused, gripping story?”
I can’t afford to indulge that thought, though. I’ve worked too hard and believe in this story too much to let the intimidation factor get the best of me.
So here I go, about to step into uncharted territory, and I hope to emerge from it not only unscathed, but triumphant.